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A lot about Filipino culture (or any culture really) has to do with the way things are done. Sometimes, in the eyes of a foreigner, or more specifically an American (yes through my eyes), aspects of the Filipino culture aren’t just difficult to adapt to, like Filipino time, but some are hard to accept as a bystander. One instance is currently unfolding, as I type this, in my Municipality. Let me paint you the picture:
The Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) summit is touring the Philippines this year and they’re currently visiting Iloilo, my province. Our town was told that out of all the municipalities, our was chosen to display our economic endeavors to the delegates; a prestigious request. For over a week, the government employees and even some educators have been preparing to ‘show off’ certain industries and developments that we’re proud of. Then yesterday happened. All day, from 8 am to 3 pm, people were waiting for these delegates to arrive and when they weren’t there by afternoon meryenda time, everyone ate the snacks and packed up. Nothing has changed today, yet. I’ve been waiting all morning with fellow employees for these people to arrive, and still we are left twittling our thumbs.
You’re probably thinking ‘how rude!’ or ‘that’s not very professional of them’, and I would most definitely agree. But the thing that you don’t know is that things like this happen ALL THE TIME. I don’t know if the visitors coming are all Filipino or not, but the thing that has jumped out at me every single time this happens is the lack of respect. For me, I’ve been let down numerous times because plans have changed out of no consideration for all the work I had done or my schedule. I honestly don’t know where that aspect of the culture comes from and clearly it would be a very difficult thing to change (which is a silly thing to say in the first place, because I didn’t come here to change a culture, but to embrace the differences) but again that isn’t really my point. The response or reaction to this ‘lack of respect’ is what can change.
Currently there is no reaction. Well I take that back, there is but its a private one. I have witnessed numerous situations where people are let down, plans change, music blares, traffic jams, etc etc etc. and people will just back sit and chika-chika about it (chika-chika is a filipino term that simple means gossip, but usually involves complaints about political issues or other discrepancies). So in english, they sit and complain to each other about how annoying the music that started at 4 this morning is or that the decision some politician made wasn’t for the greater good. The thing that aggravates (and disappoints) me most is that no one will say anything publicly, an act that could really make a difference, for the sole reason that they’re shy.
Now shyness is a very filipino trait, and its often used as an excuse for not doing something that you actually want to or for other behaviors (for example a child not giving me a high-five, or my nurse refusing to take the gift I offered is called shy, or even ashamed, as its sometimes translated). In some cases, there is a reason for saying that you’re shy and not speaking up- the fear of being judged or publicly shamed for disagreeing. Those of you non-filipino readers can see my frustration, because esp as Americans, we grow up learning to speak our minds (or else we’re called shy!) and that has become part of our culture and how people view us. Numerous times I have had to hold my tongue because saying what I was thinking would have been inappropriate.
In a very opposing situation, Filipinos will however speak their mind even at the discretion of others as long as their own backs are covered. For instances, commenting on your looks-something most of the female volunteers complain about is people always commenting on the way you look, especially your weight (no matter if they say you’re niwang (skinny) or tambok (fat, or healthy- but normally has a negative connotation)). So in this situation, a situation that is completely unproductive, except succeeding at making me feel self-conscious, and accomplishes nothing, there’s no risk in them speaking their mind, and so they do. I guess they play it safe, and have resided to just not speaking up when their voices need to be heard.
Linking my initial story to the behavior I just pointed out: its almost a guarantee that no one will complain to whoever coordinated the event, not a word will be said where it matters. Surely people will talk amongst themselves about how ridiculous the whole thing has been, but chika-chika isn’t really known for being constructive. I was texting a friend about what’s going on and told her that if anyone does end up showing, I’d really like to give them a piece of my mind- having seen the work that’s been put into this event that went unseen- but again I will probably keep my mouth shut. In the end, it isn’t my place.
The trouble I see is if Filipinos aren’t willing to stand up for themselves and say “that’s not fair”, then they’re going to keep getting stepped on. As Americans, standing up for our rights, voicing our opinions (thank God for the freedom to do so), and saying “that’s not fair”, are things that we pride ourselves on, because its gotten us to where we are today. I’m not implying that no Filipino has never stood up for their country, but a thing like this can always happen more. [I’ve become friends with people who have a burning passion to do good for their planet, their country, their people. But none of those people are in political positions having the authority to make a bigger change. It’s still remarkable, though, to see the small efforts of individual people slowly spread and cause positive change.]
For any Filipino reading this, I want to encourage you to be strong and fearless, exercise your freedom, and stand up for yourself. Not necessarily just as an individual, but also as a country. Be proud of who you are and where you come from. The Philippines is a fantastic place and the best part is it has so much potential! All it needs is for its own people to see that and starting making it into the country it can be, instead of just accepting it as it is. Don’t keep saying bahala na (a saying meaning ‘it is what it is’ or ‘come what may’), because as beautiful as the saying is, it shouldn’t be applied to every situation.
I could leave today, throw my hands up and say bahala na, or I could tell the people that should have showed up how disappointed I am with their actions, no matter what their excuse, and point out their disrespect. Change always happens in small steps, but enough of them in the right direction usually get you to a better place.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Its as simple as that.
Its as simple as that.
